As anyone with a sore back knows – more than one treatment is necessary to help heal it.
Visit #2 to the ZEN Spa
This visit I decided to book a massage and cupping. I went feeling very optimistic the massage would relax me and make the cupping less painful. I knew the cupping had worked, I just didn’t like the pain. AND I went determined to win over my little Chinese Sadist. After all the week before she did say I needed to come back – so she must have liked me. 😂
Upon arriving I was told she was late and could go with another “masseuse” or wait 30 minutes. Since I do not have my own vehicle or nor can I drive here, I knew I better stick to my scheduled departure time and just go with a different “masseuse”.
A Lovely Balinese girl brings me into a lovely room. There was a blue package on the bed and in broken english she communicates to put it on. Well from the look on my face, I think she thought I didn’t understand so she opened the package. Out she pulled a pair of disposable boxers. I start to laugh and she giggles. Great paper underwear with no padding…. Hope I don’t sneeze. I will pop the sides and “wet” my paper. Let’s say one side does not “fit all”.
Comfy on the bed with my new blue panties on and lovely towel I await my massage. My “little” Balinese gal was small, agile AND mighty. Her gentle had me trying to escape through the table. Unfortunately, she did not have great english and “that hurts” “lighter” was not landing, nor was me twisting and attempting to topple her off the table. After 60 mins of torture she gets me face down again and says she will send in Chinese lady for Cupping…. This time I prayed…. “Please let her be gentle. Please let this be good.”
With my face in the hole and a towel over my head my vision was limited. As the door opened I noticed the shoes walking through it were not the common shoes of females in PNG – Chinese or not. They were definitely men’s shoes on male feet.
I said a weak “hello”, and heard something I could not quite make out.
After a few moments, The towel on my body was pulled back, hands went on my back and I managed to get out “are you here to do my cupping?”
Seriously what else was he there for???? After all I had heard the jingle of the glass globes when he came through the door. I start racking my brain. “Did I miss something? Did they say she wasn’t there today? I really wish I knew some Chinese.”
Finally a “just chill Lori” command went through me mind.
After a little pushing, pulling and yanking on my back I hear the fire starter again. Relief was coming.
Heat cup, stick cup, pull cup off, re-position cup, yank on cup…. repeat…. repeat. Towel on my legs gets pulled back and I tense up. Where is he putting them???? My blue boxers were torn here and there, after being flipped front to back for the massage. I was sure it did not look too pretty back there.
Next I felt the back of my thigh being sucked up – I pictured this massive globe you see on closet lights. I was like “WTF”? Two to the calves, two to the back of my knees, two to the back of my thighs, 14 on my back…. “Breath, Relax, Breath, Relax…. whats he doing? He’s awfully quiet”.
Then giggles hit me again.
I could hear the cups clinking and thought this guy is going to think I am crazy. My inner voice says “Really, you are concerned he will think you are crazy? What about if he hurts you? You will only be able to identify him by his shoes”. Of course that made me giggle more. I swear if anyone ever really captures me they will release me thinking I am crazy. Does anyone else giggle when they are nervous? Or having crazy random thoughts?
The cups are removed, the back rub…. very rough, then VERY friendly and it’s at this point that I don’t care. I am done and want it all to be over. I thought the treatment would relax me and yet my brain has been working overtime stressing me out.
He speaks to me and yet I have NO idea what he said. All I can think at this point is “Woman, you must learn Chinese or at least Papuan language, so you can ask proper questions”. If I have learned one thing in the past five months – clear communication is key. English is NOT the language of the world, regardless of what we have been told.
He leaves. I get up.
I am so relaxed. I am stunned. I can’t believe how chilled I am. I felt like I had the best sex ever. I get dressed. I get out to the desk and pay as one girl asks if I am OK. “HUH? WHAT?” I swear BEST HIGH EVER. I get outside and get a text from my hubby. “Are you alive?”
My reply was quite honest:
“OMG. Just finished. I could eat a pig! What a munch I have!”
Onward with the PNG adventures in this “Land of the Unexpected”.
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